As homecoming has come and gone, a lot of girls came to me and started talking about how inadequate they felt because they didn't have a date. I realized how badly homecoming can effect a girl's self esteem..and it reminded me of the apple story i have heard so many times.
"Girls are like apples. The best ones are at the top of the tree where you need to investtime to get a ladder. while the less awesome ones are usually at the bottom where people can get to them easier.The boys don'twant to climb the ladder and fall and get hurtso they settle for the less amazing apples."
When i read this a few years ago, I thought"Man, no wonder the most amazing, beautiful, talented girls i know that don't have boyfriends think they aren't good enough or pretty enough."
There is nothing wrong with being an appleat the top of the tree. IT DOESNT MEAN NO ONE LIKES YOU! it means they are afraid of getting hurt byan amazing beautiful talented person and they decide to settle for a less amazing girl that will give them everything they want when they pop the question.
YOU ARE BETER THAN THAT.
Beauty is not defined by the number of guys you have drooling at your feet or picturing you during math class. Beauty is not defined by perfect skin. Beauty is DEFINITELY NOT defined by the number on the scale.
One day, a guy will come along and notice your true beauty. The beauty that will still be there when you're 50 years old.
If God has given you that special someone, He's going to put them through tests..to see if He deserves you, and He will do the same thing to you to see if ya'll are compatible and are truly ready to commit. His condition is, it will be on His OWN TIME that He sends you that one person who takes your breath away and surpasses them all.
You can't just say "God. please send me a suitable boyfriend. kthnxbai." He will decide when you're ready for commitment and then marriage.
Girls,I am right there with ya'll. I'm a single lady.I don't get asked very often by guys, let alone noticed. I mean even I got rejected, but I'm still here. I'm alright. If I can get up and dust myself off and go try try try again, why can't you? All you need is some amazing friends, comfort food, and a disney movie marathon ;]
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Speak Life, Don't Echo Death.
I just felt like writing my thoughts down on today's message at XCEL. It really doesn't matter if no one reads this, or if everyone does, I'm doing this to help my writing skills, and build up my ability to put my thoughts into language people that aren't crazy will understand :)
SPEAK LIFE! DON'T ECHO DEATH!
Today, at the end of the main message Trey started talking about people who don't usually get life spoken into them...they only hear the echoes of death that have been repeated so very many times. He made a reference to how some people's parents criticize their children...and people laughed.
That just really hit me.
Is our generation really so ignorant that they think we're joking when we say that some kids are in a situation where their parents actually call their children 'fat', or 'ugly', or 'stupid'? It happens all around us, and not just parents...teachers, coaches, rolemodels (they aren't good rolemodels if they put you down, but whatever) and even friends..Even we might be doing it...without even knowing it!
People don't forget easily. I know I don't at least. I remember it was freshman year...i had gained some weight, and I wasn't really that insecure about it..then i asked my mom if we could go jean shopping because mine were getting small. The first thing she said was "You need to stop eating so much junk food, you're getting chunky." Or something along those lines..and how could i forget the time she actually TOOK AWAY food from me saying that I didn't need to eat anymore for that day. I can still hear the taunting from everytime i went back for seconds at dinner, from my own sister and mother...the "oinks" and pig snorts... Every single thing they've said, even if they didn't mean it, still haunts me. Every single day it's a battle to eat even the quantity of food on my plate.
The point is, whenever you echo death on somebody, they keep that on repeat in their head. It doesn't stop. You may not even notice you're harming them until it's too late.We need to realize that there are people who get criticized by their parents, it's not a joke. There are parents who call their children 'ugly' or 'fat' or 'stupid'...it is NOT something to laugh at.
Sorry, had to get that off my mind..it's been going through my mind since i heard the giggles.
SPEAK LIFE! DON'T ECHO DEATH!
Today, at the end of the main message Trey started talking about people who don't usually get life spoken into them...they only hear the echoes of death that have been repeated so very many times. He made a reference to how some people's parents criticize their children...and people laughed.
That just really hit me.
Is our generation really so ignorant that they think we're joking when we say that some kids are in a situation where their parents actually call their children 'fat', or 'ugly', or 'stupid'? It happens all around us, and not just parents...teachers, coaches, rolemodels (they aren't good rolemodels if they put you down, but whatever) and even friends..Even we might be doing it...without even knowing it!
People don't forget easily. I know I don't at least. I remember it was freshman year...i had gained some weight, and I wasn't really that insecure about it..then i asked my mom if we could go jean shopping because mine were getting small. The first thing she said was "You need to stop eating so much junk food, you're getting chunky." Or something along those lines..and how could i forget the time she actually TOOK AWAY food from me saying that I didn't need to eat anymore for that day. I can still hear the taunting from everytime i went back for seconds at dinner, from my own sister and mother...the "oinks" and pig snorts... Every single thing they've said, even if they didn't mean it, still haunts me. Every single day it's a battle to eat even the quantity of food on my plate.
The point is, whenever you echo death on somebody, they keep that on repeat in their head. It doesn't stop. You may not even notice you're harming them until it's too late.We need to realize that there are people who get criticized by their parents, it's not a joke. There are parents who call their children 'ugly' or 'fat' or 'stupid'...it is NOT something to laugh at.
Sorry, had to get that off my mind..it's been going through my mind since i heard the giggles.
September 19th
"Commit to the LORD whatever you do and your plans will succeed." - Proverbs 16:3
"The LORD works out everything for His own ends, even the wicked for a day of disaster." - Proverbs 16:4
In Proverbs 16:3 it says if you do everything you do for God, you WILL succeed. It may not be success in your standards, but it is in God's eyes...and shouldn't that be more than enough for us?
Things don't always work out the way we plan, and we don't always see that, in fact, "The LORD works out everything for His own ends" (proverbs 16:4) If God puts you through something, such as rejection or a death of a close friend or family member, it's NOT in vain. He puts you through it for a reason...and that reason will not become clear right away..that doesn't mean we should stray from the path God has chosen for us. We need to stick to it to get the reward.Whether it's to bring you closer to Him, or make you a stronger person, it IS for a reason. He does not put you through something you can't handle, but at the same time he doesn't put you through something you can easily get through yourself. He wisely makes the situation bring you to Him. He WANTS you to seek Him, no matter if your life is going AMAZINGLY, or if your life is in ruins..He wants you to seek Him.
"The LORD works out everything for His own ends, even the wicked for a day of disaster." - Proverbs 16:4
In Proverbs 16:3 it says if you do everything you do for God, you WILL succeed. It may not be success in your standards, but it is in God's eyes...and shouldn't that be more than enough for us?
Things don't always work out the way we plan, and we don't always see that, in fact, "The LORD works out everything for His own ends" (proverbs 16:4) If God puts you through something, such as rejection or a death of a close friend or family member, it's NOT in vain. He puts you through it for a reason...and that reason will not become clear right away..that doesn't mean we should stray from the path God has chosen for us. We need to stick to it to get the reward.Whether it's to bring you closer to Him, or make you a stronger person, it IS for a reason. He does not put you through something you can't handle, but at the same time he doesn't put you through something you can easily get through yourself. He wisely makes the situation bring you to Him. He WANTS you to seek Him, no matter if your life is going AMAZINGLY, or if your life is in ruins..He wants you to seek Him.
September 14th
"Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, and the end of joy may be grief." proverbs 14:13
This verse really hit me. I feel like God is telling us to dig deeper, deeper than the surface. Is someone truly 'fine' if they were frowning just a moment ago before asking them "is everything alright?" Should we just brush that off as if they are all okay if they can stiffle out a chuckle?
We are fools if we see laughing without looking at the context of the bigger picture. So often we walk the halls at school seeing so many people laughing and smiling and thinking "Gee, they seem so happy...their lives must be perfect."
We as warriors should look deeper than a simple smile. Pain doesn't just disappear with a laugh.Sometimes, people use laughter to hide their pain. If you've ever made a new friend that you thought was one of the happiest people, never had an unhappy moment, never cries, never feels despair, you know this firsthand.
When I was in 4th grade, I remember befriending the prettiest girl in the whole class. I thought she was the happiest girl ever, all she did was giggle and smile. Then we got closer, and I realized that was just an act. She wasn't truly happy. She used laughter and smiles to hide her pain, and try to deny her unhappiness.
One needs to truly know a person to see the difference in real laughter versus fake.Joy is so difficult to explain, which is why this proverb is so rich in truth. Even as we know a situation works out the way God intended it to work out--and that is joy--that doesn't mean we might not also be crying, experiencing loss, suffering.
This verse really hit me. I feel like God is telling us to dig deeper, deeper than the surface. Is someone truly 'fine' if they were frowning just a moment ago before asking them "is everything alright?" Should we just brush that off as if they are all okay if they can stiffle out a chuckle?
We are fools if we see laughing without looking at the context of the bigger picture. So often we walk the halls at school seeing so many people laughing and smiling and thinking "Gee, they seem so happy...their lives must be perfect."
We as warriors should look deeper than a simple smile. Pain doesn't just disappear with a laugh.Sometimes, people use laughter to hide their pain. If you've ever made a new friend that you thought was one of the happiest people, never had an unhappy moment, never cries, never feels despair, you know this firsthand.
When I was in 4th grade, I remember befriending the prettiest girl in the whole class. I thought she was the happiest girl ever, all she did was giggle and smile. Then we got closer, and I realized that was just an act. She wasn't truly happy. She used laughter and smiles to hide her pain, and try to deny her unhappiness.
One needs to truly know a person to see the difference in real laughter versus fake.Joy is so difficult to explain, which is why this proverb is so rich in truth. Even as we know a situation works out the way God intended it to work out--and that is joy--that doesn't mean we might not also be crying, experiencing loss, suffering.
September 7th
proverbs 7:16-17 "I have covered my bed with colored linens from Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon."
This chapter deals with temptation. As human beings, we respond to our 5 senses: sight, smell, hearing, feeling, and taste.
Have you ever been on a diet just eating a plain looking salad with a less than bland taste..and then looking over on the table next to you to see a piece of the most moist, decadent, chocolatey cake you have ever seen in your life? Imagine the smell..and don't even get yourself started on the taste. Your senses are begging you to indulge in the cake, but you made a commitment to yourself to eat healthier..do you break the promise and live in the now? or do you make the better decision?
This can be related to what men deal with. now i can't exactly go into detail because, personally, I'm not a man...and i don't know what men think..and i can't just stereotype EVERY SINGLE GUY into one single though process..but here's a little tidbit. boy sees girl. girl is dressed in low cut top and short shorts. her perfume is alluring. her skin is smooth. all of these attributes appeal to the senses, which causes temptation. Just like in the verse. The cinnamon, aloe, and myrhh all appeal to the sense of smell, while the colored linen from Egypt appeals to the sight.
We need to stop living in temptation, and in order to do that, we have to stop following our senses. We need to think things through instead of just jumping into it thinking "Well it feels good now, so why wait for something that will feel good later?"
Trust me, instant gratification is not always a good thing.
This chapter deals with temptation. As human beings, we respond to our 5 senses: sight, smell, hearing, feeling, and taste.
Have you ever been on a diet just eating a plain looking salad with a less than bland taste..and then looking over on the table next to you to see a piece of the most moist, decadent, chocolatey cake you have ever seen in your life? Imagine the smell..and don't even get yourself started on the taste. Your senses are begging you to indulge in the cake, but you made a commitment to yourself to eat healthier..do you break the promise and live in the now? or do you make the better decision?
This can be related to what men deal with. now i can't exactly go into detail because, personally, I'm not a man...and i don't know what men think..and i can't just stereotype EVERY SINGLE GUY into one single though process..but here's a little tidbit. boy sees girl. girl is dressed in low cut top and short shorts. her perfume is alluring. her skin is smooth. all of these attributes appeal to the senses, which causes temptation. Just like in the verse. The cinnamon, aloe, and myrhh all appeal to the sense of smell, while the colored linen from Egypt appeals to the sight.
We need to stop living in temptation, and in order to do that, we have to stop following our senses. We need to think things through instead of just jumping into it thinking "Well it feels good now, so why wait for something that will feel good later?"
Trust me, instant gratification is not always a good thing.
September 5th, My Declaration
This is just a little something I've had in my mind.
I'm not going to tag anyone, cause really this isn't for anyone but me.
This is to remind myself to keep on track, not to be led astray from the path. This is my declaration. I have decided tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I am going to be happy. No moping, no whining, no crying, no break downs. I am going to sing and dance like my life is a musical, because quite frankly...life is more fun that way. And also, who cares what those simon cowl wannabe's think? let them criticize me, at least i have the guts to be myself, and not a carbon copy of someone else :) I am going to feel gorgeous. I am not going to let myself define beauty as how many boys like you, how many girls are jealous of your hair..how perfect i can get my make up and hair to look, because that's not what beauty is. I'm not going to let people tell me otherwise. I'm not going to let them tell me I'm ugly...cause God doesn't make ugly things, and He made me.I am going to be just as confident OUTSIDE of my comfort zone (my mascot suit) as I am inside the suit. I shouldn't have to put on a fur suit to gain confidence. I should have the strength to be myself at all times.
I have decided, I can handle the stress in healthy ways. I don't need my past unhealthy habits to control my life. If He put me to it, I can do it, and if I need help there are people that can help me. It's been almost 3 months now, i've only gained 5 pounds back but that's because I walk an average of 2 miles everyday around the new high school! This is the beginning of a new chapter in my life, and I've just turned the page. I'm one page closer to my happy ending. I just have to make it through these trials to earn that happy ending. <3
Thank you to EVERYONE who has influenced me and made me a better person. Thank you to those of you who believed in me. Thank you God for giving me the strength to keep persevering everyday
August 26th, Feeling Comfortable in my own Skin
Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-his good, pleasing and perfect will." - Romans 12:2
I decided to add onto this verse because ever since school started it has been in my mind constantly.
I am fed up of conforming to society's views on beauty.
I am utterly SICK of caking on makeup in order to feel beautiful. I am DONE with wearing a mask to school to make people like me. Yes folks, that means I have decided by the time this year has ended..I will no longer wear a trace of makeup to school. Now for those of you who know me, I used to be one of those girls who would sit in their desk before class doing their makeup. I used almost everything. You name it, i have probably used it. I am terribly ashamed that I feel I must cover up my entire face with makeup in order for people to notice me..it's embarrassing. But I know I'm not the only girl suffering from this problem. Society these days is just setting up young girls for depression and eating disorders and feelings of ugliness.
ALMOST, keyword almost, every girl I've met has had some problem with their self esteem. These days, confidence is a rare thing. I want to change that. I'm sick of girls suffering from eating disorders. I'm sick of girls feeling that they aren't good enough for anything because they don't have perfect skin and hair. I hate the fact that girls have to spend hours getting ready to go to school. I absolutely despise the fact we have to skip meals and eat like rabbits to make us feel good. These days, we think the definition of BEAUTIFUL is skinny, no acne, perfect hair (no frizz), tanned skin, and not one ounce of fat on our bodies. We also seem to think that HOT is an antonym for beautiful. Since when?
The average teenage girl has probably picked up a fashion magazine and looked at the bone thin models saying "Oh i wish i could lose a few pounds! I would be so much more beautiful!" Since when has the number on the scale, the size of our jeans, and the number of calories we consume dictate whether we are truly beautiful?
As said in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. God told us to respect our bodies, they are a gift. He doesn't make UGLY things..just beauty. I feel that real beauty is a person who is comfortable with their looks, and has an amazing personality to go along with it. When did it become the number on the scale?I'm ready for a change, so I'm first challenging myself. I will be down to the point of wearing NO makeup WHATSOEVER to school and in public and feel totally confident by the end ofjunior year. I know I can't go completely cold turkey the first day, so I will be slowly weaning myself off it, but I know I can do this. I want to totally transform myself, inside and out. I want to transform that scared girl into a strong, able, confident girl.I may be pushing my recovery to the limit, but if I start to slip back into old habits I know God will help me back up. I'm not alone anymore.
I decided to add onto this verse because ever since school started it has been in my mind constantly.
I am fed up of conforming to society's views on beauty.
I am utterly SICK of caking on makeup in order to feel beautiful. I am DONE with wearing a mask to school to make people like me. Yes folks, that means I have decided by the time this year has ended..I will no longer wear a trace of makeup to school. Now for those of you who know me, I used to be one of those girls who would sit in their desk before class doing their makeup. I used almost everything. You name it, i have probably used it. I am terribly ashamed that I feel I must cover up my entire face with makeup in order for people to notice me..it's embarrassing. But I know I'm not the only girl suffering from this problem. Society these days is just setting up young girls for depression and eating disorders and feelings of ugliness.
ALMOST, keyword almost, every girl I've met has had some problem with their self esteem. These days, confidence is a rare thing. I want to change that. I'm sick of girls suffering from eating disorders. I'm sick of girls feeling that they aren't good enough for anything because they don't have perfect skin and hair. I hate the fact that girls have to spend hours getting ready to go to school. I absolutely despise the fact we have to skip meals and eat like rabbits to make us feel good. These days, we think the definition of BEAUTIFUL is skinny, no acne, perfect hair (no frizz), tanned skin, and not one ounce of fat on our bodies. We also seem to think that HOT is an antonym for beautiful. Since when?
The average teenage girl has probably picked up a fashion magazine and looked at the bone thin models saying "Oh i wish i could lose a few pounds! I would be so much more beautiful!" Since when has the number on the scale, the size of our jeans, and the number of calories we consume dictate whether we are truly beautiful?
As said in 1 Corinthians 6:19-20. God told us to respect our bodies, they are a gift. He doesn't make UGLY things..just beauty. I feel that real beauty is a person who is comfortable with their looks, and has an amazing personality to go along with it. When did it become the number on the scale?I'm ready for a change, so I'm first challenging myself. I will be down to the point of wearing NO makeup WHATSOEVER to school and in public and feel totally confident by the end ofjunior year. I know I can't go completely cold turkey the first day, so I will be slowly weaning myself off it, but I know I can do this. I want to totally transform myself, inside and out. I want to transform that scared girl into a strong, able, confident girl.I may be pushing my recovery to the limit, but if I start to slip back into old habits I know God will help me back up. I'm not alone anymore.
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